The Pattersonian

This week’s world news was dominated by two things: The Tokyo “2020” Olympics opening in the midst of a pandemic and billionaire Jeff Bezos blasting off into space inside of a giant rocket-powered penis. It’s too close to call yet on which was more of a dick move. In the case of the Olympics, I already discussed here a couple of weeks ago my thoughts on it. While I don’t want to deny the world-class athletes of Canada and every other country the opportunity to fulfill their lifelong dreams, I’m pretty sure their dreams didn’t include unnecessarily risking the lives of themselves and others to do it. It could have and should have been further delayed or yes, even cancelled by the International Olympic Committee. But the I.O.C. is the S.O.B. of international sport. If they were a spaceship, they’d be shaped like a giant penis.