A Thousand Word Article Says a Thousand Words

Weekly Articles from Comedian Steve Patterson

Sunday

May

23

2021

Victoria Day Weekend 2021: The Ungathering

...Canadians are being discouraged from gathering in large groups to avoid spreading the “third wave”, while simultaneously being encouraged to get vaccinated, so that we can once again gather in large groups.

This weekend is “Victoria Day” long weekend in Canada. Or, as most self-respecting Canadians call it, ‘May two-four!’, assumingly in reference to how many beers the average adult will consume over the weekend (not between two to four beers. A “two-four” as in a case of 24. Just in case anyone reading this is not fluently Canadian). This holiday marks Canada’s history with the British Commonwealth by giving every adult in the country three solid days and nights to get hammered in the woods with each other. Just like Queen Victoria would have wanted. Victoria Day has been observed as a federal holiday since 1901, the year that Queen Victoria died, and was celebrated on May 24th because that was her birthday. But in 1952, statutes were revised to celebrate the holiday on the “Monday preceding May 25th” which this year falls on, wait for it… May 24th.

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