The Pattersonian

First things first, it shouldn’t be called “Mother’s Day”. It should be called “Mother’s Day OFF.” And every mother in the world should get to do whatever the hell she wants. Whether it’s to spend the day reading a book, taking a bath, reading a book in the bath or having a book read to her in the bath by the reader of her choice (you know who’s a pretty good reader? Brad Pitt.) But of course that’s impossible this Mother’s Day. And not just because, just like the rest of us, Brad isn’t supposed to be traveling. For twenty-four hours a day, three-hundred and sixty four days of the past year and beyond, mothers have been on the job: Keeping babies safely nestled and fed, their young children close at hand and fed, and their teenagers, adult children as safe as they could. Quite often by keeping them fed.